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Songs: Come On Pussy

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If you see a little kitty sitting in a tree
Don't call 999, no, call me
I won't need a ladder. It won't take long
All I need's me ukulele and this perfectly innocent song.

Come on pussy, down you come
If you want a little milk then I will give you some
It's all very safe - I've got my hard hat!
Come on pussy cat!

When I see a little kitty, well I can't resist
I want to stroke that moggy 'til I sprain me wrist
You know I've got a special treat for every stranded cat
And they'll get if they come and sit upon my lap

Come on pussy, down you come
If you want a little milk then I will give you some
It's all very safe - I've got my hard hat!
Come on pussy cat!

A lady friend of mine rang up and said "Come Quick!"
She'd been dragging at her tabby with a walking stick
I said that'll never do it, you're much too rough
So I went and plucked her out using me gentle touch

Come on pussy, down you come
If you want a little milk then I will give you some
It's all very safe - I've got my hard hat!
Come on pussy cat!

Did somebody mention a paulo catulus?
Why, it's Boris Johnson!

I'm the Mayor Of London and all day I sit
In my splendid office thinking about Dick
Whittington my hero, the best Mayor Of All
He was famous for his pussy, and his Lord Mayor's Balls!

Come on pussy, down you come
If you want a little milk then I will give you some
It's all very safe - I've got my hard hat!
Come on pussy cat!


Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing

This is Chester Champion's PERFECTLY INNOCENT song about coaxing cats down from trees, as heard in "Total Hero Team". It's basically a HOMAGE to the George Formby songs which my Nan labelled "FILTH".

I GRAPPLED with this one for ages - is it TOO rude? Not rude enough? Would people understand? When we first performed it I noticed that some people took very much against - not least The Cat In My Cat Basket. She said it was "pervy", which wasn't the idea at ALL, and I eventually realised that this was probably because I was WINKING and LEERING throughout to make sure that people understood it when, actually, this sort of thing works best when the singer is entirely innocent of its meaning, just like George used to play it. I tried it this way round and it worked GRATE. It was always best when people came with their kids. Many was the occasion when I witnessed parents almost EXPLODE as they tried to contain GUFFAWS!


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