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Songs: The Advent Calendar Of FACTnotes / gigs / releases
Door One A Robin in a woodland scene Door Two A parcel with a bow Door Three A traditional Christmas Tree Door Four A pointless pile of snow Door Five It's a drunken mob of Carol Singers Door Six Appears to be a Christmas Sock It's the madness advent calenders bring us But here's one thing that it is not It's nothing like the Christmas that I know and like It's not like any Christmas I've had Don't bring me Advent Calenders of falsehood myth and LIES Bring me the Advent Calendar of FACT Door seven It's raining all day long Door eight Westlife at number one Door nine A child falls off a brand new bike Door ten A cat entangled in the Christmas Lights Door Eleven Someone saying "Let's play Triv!" Door Twelve Me not escaping to the pub It may not sound like it But this is something that I love This is the Christmas that I know and like This is all the Christmases I've had This is not a Calendar of falsehood myth or lies This is the Advent Calendar of FACT Thirteen Y-Fronts Fourteen Jumpers Fifteen Receipts kept just in case Sixteen Rude pants Seventeen "Massage" tools Eighteen The look on your Nan's face Being drunk at 9 am Seems like a Good Idea When combining your family With free wine, whisky, rum and beer And this is the Christmas that I know and like This is all the Christmases I've had This is not a Calendar of falsehood myth or lies This is the Advent Calendar of FACT Nineteen Half a jar of Cranberry Sauce Twenty A pile of washing up Twenty One Highlighter Pens in Radio Times Twenty Two A tape we'll never watch Twenty Three Burnt Brandy on a Christmas Pudding Nobody wants to eat Twenty Four Walnuts to watch the film with Then all falling fast asleep This is the Christmas that I know and like This is all the Christmases I've had This is not a Calendar of falsehood myth or lies This is the Advent Calendar of FACT
Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing
This was originally written for the Steve Lamacq's Sunday Show on BBC 6Music, when they asked me to come in with something Christmassy. I spent quite a while trying to work out what to write - I was going to bring in a whole POSSE of PALS, like I'd done before, and wanted to have something that they could do rather than just joining in with the chorus. We went through a couple of poor quality attempts at something a bit dull before i was SUDDENLY STRUCK by THORT - in the kitchen, as I remember - and DASHED around with a pen for the rest of the evening at home CHUCKLING to myself as new ideas appeared.
All the songs I've written for Steve Lamacq shows have worked out really well, actually, maybe I should just get him to give me a list of topics and write the next album that way? Anyway, I was really chuffed with it and wanted to record it properly, and it was thinking about THAT that gave me the idea for doing the whole Kung Fu Santa With A Christmas Punchbag album, and i got so excited about THAT idea that I had to RING Mr Machine there and then to tell him. That sort of thing doesn't HAPPEN that often!
It was recorded during the sessions for WE VALIDATE! in Cornwall, always with the intention of going on the Christmas Album, and oh BOY did we have fun doing it. As with Give Us A Kiss For Christmas we got out the sleighbells to get in the mood, and although Mince Pies were a bit harder to come by in August we managed to use BEER as a substitute. The laughing halfway through is the sound of Tom enjoying himself doing the violins, and is one of those things that happened and we all said "KEEP! THAT! IN!". Me, Frankie, Tim and Tom recorded the singalonga male backing vocals as the last thing we did one day, and you can probably tell that it was a couple of hours after Beer O'Clock when we did it, hence the occasional YELPS throughout the song. Also hence the BARBER SHOP bit at the end - oh how we enjoyed ourselves doing THAT!
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