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Songs: Why Hasn't Your Email Come In?

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Why hasn't your email come in
Why hasn't your email come in
I keep pressing refresh
But nothing's happened up yet
Oh tell me, why hasn't your email come in?

I'm sitting here afeared of doing work
I'm neither eager, keyed up nor alert
It's twee maybe but true
I need to hear from you
So tell me, why hasn't your email come in?

I've checked connections, cleared the ports and then
I've rebooted and reinstalled the modem
I've logged in and logged out
But my inbox still says nowt
Oh tell me, why hasn't your email come in?

My heart leaps as I hear a ping, a mesage has arrived!
It's hot wet teens who want me to delete half my hard drive
A confidential Kenyan selling girth increasing drugs
When all I want's a message from the woman that I love

I'll write a slightly irate message that's
Complaining of your lack of writing back
When suddenly I'll see
That last message from me
Is in my outbox unsent looking back

That's why your email's not come in
Let's let message two get swept into the bin
The first one's swiftly sent
I wait five minutes, then
I see your lovely email coming in

Thank you for the email coming in
My face breaks out into a silly grin
I love the words you writ
I'm sorry I was thick
And thank you for the emails coming in


Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing

This was written on Sunday August 24th 2003, on purpose - I felt that the Song Bung was GONE, and knew that, that day, I would sit and write me a brand new song. I had a list of Possible Ideas For Songs, saw the most recent one ("Clicking on Refresh to see if any new emails have come in") and thought, "AHA!" For LO! just before I'd started, the Water In My River had said, jokingly, "Why don't you ever write a song about me eh?" This was, as I explained, untrue, as SEVERAL songs were about her, and ALL of the recent ones had her in them somewhere, but she is a Tough Woman and not easily fobbed off, so this idea seemed like a good one to get started with, as most of the time when I'm clicking refresh I'm hoping that it'll be an email from her that comes in.

Over the course of a couple of hours I gently worked through, knowing pretty much how it was all going to work out, and only coming a bit stuck in the middle bit. The tune took quite a while to work out, and then got TINKERED with, as I tried to find something NICE to stick in at the end of the last line. I originally planned to have something SHOUTED, and the first proper DRAFT did end with a bellowed "Come on Charlotte!", but eventually I settled on some Nice Chord Changes instead.

When I finished I was EXTREMELY pleased with myself, danced around the bedroom a bit, whistled it along the landing and then went downstairs for the traditional Dance In The Kitchen which at that time marked the completion of every song I wrote.

I recorded a demo which never got as far as being taken UP by The Validators, but I thought it sounded really good, so ending up putting it on the multimedia for Shed Anthems instead. It still sounds good to me!


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