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Blog: Abs, Bums and OW!

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On Tuesday nights The Activities In My Fitness Regime and I usually pop down the road to The Sir Ludwig Guttmann Health Centre to attend the free HULA HOOP class run by Our Parks. We've been going for months and it is GRATE. This Tuesday just gone, however, we got an email from the organisation in the morning saying that our usual teacher was poorly so our class would be replaced by an "Abs Bums And Thighs" one.

My first reaction was that this was a bit like ordering a bottle of BEER via online shopping and getting FABREEZE instead, but I talked about it online with my SPORTS PARTNER and we agreed to give it a go. I thought it'd probably be OK - I mean, I'd never done Hula Hoop before I'd started classes last year, and that had turned out all right, so this should all be fine. Right?

It was only as we set off down the road that I remembered how TERRIFYING the first few weeks of Hula Hooping had been. I have a TERRIBLE PHOBIA of doing things I'm really bad at ("Ho ho!" you may say, "You are so brave for dealing with this every time you do a gig no?" to which I reply "SHURRUP") especially when surrounded by people who know what they're doing, and ESPECIALLY when I stand out like a sore thumb. You can imagine my distress, therefore, when we arrived to find that none of the other Hula Hoop regulars were there but that instead everybody else was a) a lady b) in proper gear c) with a mat. I felt like an ANTELOPE sighting a LEOPARD, my whole body screamed "FLEE! FLEE!" but I thought "No, whole body, I shall not. Sometimes it is good to step outside yr comfort zone."

I don't think I have ever been further outside my comfort zone than this. COMFORT was about a billion miles away as I spent the next fifty minutes in SWEATY AGONY. Christ! Bits of me hurt that I had forgotten existed, and I felt a right pillock sat on the cold floor trying to lift my legs up while everybody else did so daintily like they were born to it.

I wonder if George Harrison thought his wise words "All Things Must Pass" would ever be used in this kind of situation? For LO! all through the experience I kept reminding myself that, at some point, I would NOT be in an Abs Bums And Thighs class and, who knows, might even be watching telly again. After an age it did end and I staggered home, quite PROUD of myself for sticking with it but relieved it was all over.

What a fool I was! Over? Two days later I am still EXTREMELY aware of my abs bums and thighs because they all RUDDY HURT. Oh comfort zone! How I long to return to you!

posted 29/1/2015 by MJ Hibbett

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