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Blog: No Humour Potential Whatsoever
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My extreme need for a KIP on Sunday transmuted into lethargy, FEVERS, shivering and shaking, swollen GLANDS, stiffness, headache, and... well, not to put TOO fine a point on it, a massive rash across my backside that makes me look like one of those RUDE MONKEYS. MAN! You can ACTUALLY (really!) feel the HEAT coming off it from a distance, THROUGH CLOTHES. It is really something.
THUS i spent most of Monday and Tuesday in bed feeling VERY sorry for myself, although being EXCELLENTLY nursed by The Pestle In My Mortar, who gently asked last night that i ring NHS Direct to find out what's going on. This i did, and was AFEARED to find out that they thought I had either IMPETIGO or SHINGLES! YIPE! also OH NO! Either of these could have BIG implications - my sister's over from Dubai this week with my two nephews, and I'd already missed seeing them on Monday, but this could mean i couldn't see them AT ALL. It also THREW next week in Cornwall into Question - even if i was WELL enough to go, i couldn't really BE around Tim and Emma's girls if i had something as CONTAGIOUS and DANGEROUS to children! OH NO!
This morning I went in to see my LOVELY GP, Dr Sharma (he really is a LOVELY GP) who took a look at my BEACON BUM and told me i actually have ACUTE CELLULITIS, which is due to my Psoriasis. I don't know if I've mentioned this before here, but HEY! we're all friends right? Psoriasis is like SCABBY BITS on the skin, it's a bit annoying but not anything Life Impinging - if you'd REALLY like to see a picture you can see what Mr Frankie Machine calls my "zombie elbows" in the gallery of our gig in LEEDS.
It's not particularly exciting though, don't feel you have to. ANYWAY, he gave me a prescription and i was MUCH relieved - it's not infectious, it's not life threatening, and it's not really MY FAULT either. Oh the ignominy if it had been alcohol poisoning! PHEW! HOWEVER!
My prescription included two courses of antibiotics, to be taken for a week, with the strict instruction to drink no alcohol whilst I'm taking them. Thus, for most of the time that we're in the studio next week i shall be unable to touch a drop of drink. If only there was some humour potential in the fact that I'll be teetotal whilst with the Validators for the week because of my huge red burning arse then we could have fun the whole time, but alas, I can think of none!
And I'm sure the Vlads won't find it mirthful either.
posted 17/8/2005 by MJ Hibbett
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songs to record in cornwall:
The Primal Rhythms Of The Baboon Nose Flautist!
The Pebble And The Baboon!
Leave My Baboon Alone!
Things'll Be Different (Now That I've Got A Big Shiny Red Arse)!
posted 18/8/2005 by Anonymous
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