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Songs: Monster Island

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When I was just five years of age
I said to my Mum
Can I ask a question?
She said "What is it son?"

Why is my Dad a monster?
Why is my Daddy Green?
Why did he eat those people
And his eyes shoot lazer beams?

I'll always love my Daddy
But I must understand
Why has he got a tail and wings
And a big mouth full of fangs?

She said - I had to tell you one day and
The truth of it is this:
We don't come from Market Harborough
That was a fib

We comes from Monster Island
where everyone's like that
Everyone's a monster
And that includes your Dad

That's why your Dad's a monster
That's why your Daddy's Green
That's why he ate those people
And his eyes shoot lazer beams

But just a minute Mum, I said
If what you say is true
This might be a silly question but
Are you a monster too?

She took me in her tentacles
Looked down with her five eyes
Stroked me with her trunk and said
Yes, that's right

I come from Monster Island
Where everyone's like that
Everyone's a monster
Including me and your Dad

That's why your Mum's a monster
That's why your Daddy's Green
That's why we ate those people
And our eyes shoot lazer beams

Well that was thirteen years ago
Today I am a man
My parents say they think it's time
We had a little chat

There's something they want to tell me
What it can be?
They say it's to do with monsters
And how that applies to me

I can't believe my seven ears
Can this really be true?
I knew Mum and Dad were monsters
But I'm a monster too?

They say that I'm a monster
They say that's why I'm green
And that's why I eat people
And my eyes shoot lazer beams

We're a family of monsters
All tentacled and green
We've got tusks and trunks and fangs and horns
And our eyes shoot lazer beams

I come from Monster Island
where everyone's like this
Everyone's a monster
Mums and Dads and kids

Everyone's a monster
Mums and Dads and kids

Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing

On the 28th of January I got an email from Dennis Greeuw saying:
I'm trying to enthuse my favourite bands and singers (in other words: you) to record one or more new pop songs with an audience in mind of children from, let's say, 0 to 10 years old. This could be anything from a quick home recording in your own style of a traditional favourite (for example 'Pop! goes the weasel', 'Mary had a little lamb', 'The ants go marching', et cetera) to professionally recorded newly written originals with child-appropriate lyrics (something that has not released elsewhere before). 'The Pop! For Kids Projectí will take the form of a website where all contributions will be posted as an individual blog entry with free MP3s and some info about the recording artist.

How could I resist! The next day I set to writing and recording the song... and wasn't very happy with the outcome. I'd tried, foolishly, to make it sound like The Smiths, forgetting that a) i can't play guitar like Johnny Marr b) or sing like Morrissey c) and for some reason could barely keep in TIME with myself, so SCRAPPED it and the next day started all over again with a MUCH simpler version. That seemed to work!

This song makes me SMILE, especially when his Mum takes him in her tentacles. The interesting thing for ME about doing a song for kids, however, was trying NOT to SHOW OFF with big words or to put TOO MANY WORDS in a line (as, apparently, i usually do) to make it easier to sing along to. It'll probably still not overtake Puff The Magic Dragon in the hearts of THE KIDS, but i hope they like it - you can listen to it HERE and see what you think!

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