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Songs: The Saturday Lunchtime Wrestlers

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I read in the obituaries that Giant Haystacks died
He's gone to fight Big Daddy in that big ring in the sky
Where every day is Saturday, and Dickie Davis smiles
And the Saturday Lunchtime Wrestlers never died

There's Kendo Nagasaki, who will not take off his mask
While the one they said was deaf is getting directions from his dad
Fit Finlay's arguing with his Red Indian wife
And the Saturday Lunchtime Wrestlers never died

The nation that they fought in has passed into history
A time when we'd allow Big Daddy's brother to be referee
When the commentators faked it, and we all joined in the lie
And the Saturday Lunchtime wrestlers never died

Bye bye Tiswas, bye bye Sally James
Bye bye NHS specs, Glam bands and the Rates
Farewell to thee free dentistry, goodbye sweet cigarettes
For we have lost our innocence, we won't see you again

Call armies of old ladies up, with handbags flying proud
Come bring me tag teams, belly flops, and a soap star in the crowd
The Children's Film Foundation has turned into Channel 5
And the Saturday Lunchtime Wrestlers never died

Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing

Just after Giant Haystacks died I got a bit sad and nostalgic for a time when Saturday Wrestling was a massive fixture of my life, when realising it was fake and making sarcastic comments was a milestone on the way to adolescence. It made me think about the way the world has changed since then, and how they'd never get away with putting it on the telly now, and after a couple of weeks aimlessly strumming and trying to think of of pithy way to use these thoughts the song itself popped out pretty much all in one go.

When we recorded it Young Ollie was in the band, and he foolishly asked what on earth it was about as all he knew was the American version. That was a very happy half hour of explanation!

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